This site isn't here to sell you anything. It's not going to ask you to join a church, sign up for a program, or change your politics.
It's here because I'm a 77-year-old man who spent most of his life chasing things that didn't satisfy. I built businesses. I failed at marriages. I raised kids imperfectly. I judged people I should have loved.
And somewhere in all of that, I found something real.
Not religion. Not rules. Not a building with stained glass.
I found a path — a transformation — that changed who I am from the inside out. And I've watched it change other people too.
If you're searching for something and you can't quite name it... you're in the right place.
You realize something is missing. Even if life looks fine on the outside.
You stop trying to fix everything yourself. This is the hardest step.
Something shifts inside. Not behavior change — identity change.
Daily choices. New thinking. Old patterns replaced, one day at a time.
Character built under pressure. Who you are when nobody's watching.
Life hits hard. Not as punishment — as refinement. This is where growth happens.
People see it before you say it. Your life becomes the message.
You help someone else start the journey. Then you go deeper. And it starts again.
THINK — Something catches your attention. A question you weren't expecting. A statement that makes you pause.
INVESTIGATE — You go deeper. Not because someone told you to — because you want to. You read. You compare. You examine the evidence.
DISCOVER — You find something real. Not religion. Not rules. A transformation that starts from the inside and changes everything.
Twenty minutes before the crash, I heard a voice. Clear as day. "Put on the full-face helmet."
I didn't usually wear that one. Too hot. Too bulky. But something told me to put it on. So I did.
Twenty minutes later, I was sliding across asphalt at highway speed. When I finally stopped, I had a broken shoulder blade, broken ribs, and 35% of my skin was gone. The helmet had a deep gash cut right across where my nose and face would have been.
Without that helmet, I would have died on that road.
That was my moment. Not the crash — the voice. Someone was watching out for me. And if He saved me, there had to be a reason.
I didn't become a saint after that. I wish I could say I did. I went through more failures — in business, in marriage, in parenting. I judged people I should have loved. I chased things that didn't matter.
But through all of it, one thing kept pulling me back: the conviction that I was put here for something specific. That my life wasn't random. That the failures weren't the end of the story — they were part of the preparation.
I'm 77 now. Some people would say it's too late to start something new. I'd say I'm finally ready to start the right thing.
62 slides of photos, videos, and stories from our mission trip to El Salvador. See what God did through a team of willing servants.
View the PresentationAbbaway4u Enterprises is not a charity in the traditional sense. We're building something different.
Self-sustaining community centers in places where people need opportunity, not charity. Centers that run real businesses, employ real people, house orphans, teach English, and build character.
Not dependent on donations. Built to last.
Safe housing for orphans and vulnerable individuals through self-sustaining centers.
Free English lessons using bilingual Bibles. Job training and real employment.
Each center runs businesses that sustain operations. No dependency cycle.
The Plan:
Phase 1: Research & Partnerships — Evaluating locations in Thailand, Vietnam, Dominican Republic, Guatemala, El Salvador. Finding local leaders who share our values.
Phase 2: Pilot Center — Launch the first center. Establish the business model. Prove the concept works.
Phase 3: Expansion — Refine operations. Expand to additional countries. Build orphan housing infrastructure. Scale the model globally.
I walked into a building last Sunday with 500 other people. Good music. Nice coffee. The pastor gave a solid talk. And I thought... is that it?
Read more →I spent most of my life thinking faith was about believing the right things. Go to church. Read the Bible. Try to be good. That didn't change me.
Read more →I know men who have everything the world says you should want. The house. The car. The career. And they're miserable.
Read more →An atheist journalist investigated the claims of Christianity the same way he'd investigate a news story. What he found changed his life.
A cold-case homicide detective applied investigative techniques to the New Testament. He wasn't a Christian when he started. He was by the time he finished.
What happens to high achievers in the second half of life when the skills that made you successful start to decline? This book explains why — and points toward meaning.
I've been thinking about church lately. Not any particular church — just the whole idea of it.
Here's what got me started: I walked into a building last Sunday with 500 other people. Good music. Nice coffee in the lobby. The pastor gave a solid talk. Everyone smiled and shook hands. I drove home.
And I thought... is that it?
Don't misunderstand me. I love church. I need it. I go every week. But I started wondering — is what we do on Sunday morning what God actually had in mind when He said "I will build my church"?
Because when you go back and read what the early church looked like — in Acts chapter 2 — it doesn't look much like what we do today. Those people met in homes. They shared meals. They shared money. They prayed together and cried together and held each other accountable. They didn't have a building, a budget, or a worship band.
They had each other. And they had Christ at the center.
Somewhere between then and now, we added a lot of structure. Some of it helpful. Some of it... I'm not sure.
I've seen three kinds of churches in my 77 years:
The first is the attractional church — big, exciting, draws a crowd. The risk is that entertainment replaces depth. People come for the show and leave unchanged.
The second is the institutional church — tradition, order, stability. The risk is that it becomes routine. People attend out of obligation, not transformation.
The third is the missional church — focused on real relationships, discipleship, and serving others. This one looks the most like what I read about in Scripture. But it's harder to organize and harder to scale.
Here's what I believe a church — any church, anywhere — needs to be doing five things:
When those five things are present, the form doesn't matter. It can happen in a cathedral or a warehouse or a living room.
When they're missing, you can have a full building and still have empty people inside it.
That's the tension. And I think it's worth talking about honestly.
What does your church experience look like? Not what you wish it was — what it actually is. That's a question worth sitting with.
← Back to HomeI spent most of my life thinking faith was about believing the right things.
Go to church. Read the Bible. Try to be good. Don't do the really bad stuff. Hope for the best when you die.
That's what I understood for decades. And you know what? It didn't change me. Not really. I still lost my temper. I still made the same mistakes in relationships. I still chased money and status like they were going to fill the hole inside me.
They didn't.
What I've learned — slowly, painfully, over years — is that faith was never supposed to be a checklist. It was supposed to be a transformation. A complete renovation of who you are from the inside out.
And there's actually a map for it. Nobody showed it to me for most of my life, so I'm going to lay it out here.
Step 1: Awakening. This is the moment you realize something is off. Maybe everything looks fine on the outside — the job, the family, the house — but inside, there's an emptiness you can't explain. You start asking questions you used to ignore.
Step 2: Surrender. This is the hardest step. It's when you stop saying "I've got this" and admit "I don't." It's not weakness. It's honesty. And it's the door everything else walks through.
Step 3: Rebirth. Something shifts. Not your behavior — your identity. You start seeing yourself differently. The things you used to chase start losing their grip. The Bible calls it becoming a "new creation."
Step 4: Renewal. This is the daily work. Old thinking doesn't disappear overnight. You replace it, one thought at a time, one decision at a time. It's not dramatic. It's discipline.
Step 5: Formation. Now character starts to form. Not the kind you perform for others — the kind that shows up when you're under pressure, when nobody's watching, when it would be easier to cut corners. Love, patience, kindness, self-control. These aren't things you decide to have. They grow in you.
Step 6: Testing. Life will hit you. Hard. I've been through a motorcycle crash that should have killed me, broken relationships, business failures, and more regret than I care to list. Those weren't punishments. They were refinements. They showed me what was real in me and what was fake.
Step 7: Expression. At some point, people start noticing. Not because you're preaching at them — because you're different. How you treat people. How you handle loss. How you respond when someone wrongs you. Your life becomes the message.
Step 8: Multiplication. Now you help someone else start the journey. Not by lecturing them. By walking with them. The same way someone walked with you.
And here's the thing — it's not a straight line. You cycle through it again and again, going deeper each time. You never arrive. You just keep becoming.
That's the map. Awaken. Surrender. Rebirth. Renew. Form. Test. Express. Multiply.
Simple to understand. Hard to live. But it's the path that actually leads somewhere.
Where are you on it right now? Be honest with yourself. That's always the first step.
← Back to HomeI know men — and women too — who have everything the world says you should want. The house. The car. The retirement account. The career behind them that people respect.
And they're miserable.
Not dramatic, fall-apart miserable. The quiet kind. The kind where you sit in your chair at the end of the day and think "So this is it?" The kind where you've checked all the boxes but the boxes didn't deliver what they promised.
I know this because I was one of those men.
I spent years in marketing. I was good at it. I made money. I could persuade people, close deals, build things. By every external measure, I was doing fine.
But I was failing at the things that actually mattered. My relationships were broken. My character had cracks I kept covering up. And the success I'd built felt like a house with no foundation — it looked impressive until the storm came.
Here's what I've learned since then:
Success is about what you achieve. Purpose is about why you exist.
And they're not the same thing.
You can be wildly successful and completely lost. You can also have very little and be deeply fulfilled. The difference isn't money or status. It's alignment. Are you living the life you were designed for, or the life the world told you to chase?
I read a book recently by Arthur Brooks called "From Strength to Strength." He writes about how high achievers hit a wall in the second half of life. The skills that made them successful start to decline. The drive that fueled them starts to feel hollow. And if they don't shift from achievement to meaning, they end up bitter and empty.
That hit me hard. Because I've lived it.
The shift for me came when I stopped asking "What can I accomplish?" and started asking "What am I here for?"
The answer didn't come in a flash. It came slowly, through failure and forgiveness and a lot of honest conversations with God. But eventually it became clear:
I'm here to serve others. To help people find hope and purpose. To build something that outlasts me — not a business, but a mission. That's what Abbaway is about. Self-sustaining centers in places where people need a hand-up, not a handout.
I'm 77. Some people would say I'm too old to start something new. I'd say I'm finally old enough to start the right thing.
If you're feeling that gap — between what you've built and what you actually want — you're not broken. You're waking up. And that might be the most important thing that ever happens to you.
What would change if you stopped chasing success and started chasing purpose? That's not a rhetorical question. I'd genuinely like to know.
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